When Grown Ups Grow Apart

Dear Mipham...Its yet another glorious sun soaked day here in Thimphu. I wonder how the Dutch summer is turning out this year...I remember the summer of 2007 was barely summer and before we knew it, fall had come and all the trees shed their leaves (they call them deciduous trees!)

I went to lunch with Angay Deki (your grandmother) at Ashey Yangzome's house today. She's got a garden that looks prettier each time i visit it! There are a lot of flowers and plants and arty-looking-brushes in her garden. She's doing some good gardening. I bet you'd love to hang about the bush and look for insects...there are a lot of insects this time of the year...The other day i had a stick-insect on my office table (i wonder what business he wanted to conduct). Looked just like a stick..i took him out the window and chucked him out, gingerly!

For lunch we had rice and vegetables. Its so hot you can't really eat much but having Angay Deki there was nice. She thinks i've defiled my sacred-human-body with all the tattoos i've got! She tells me all the outer philosophies i've calligraph-ed on my body should flow through the heart, the mind and in actions. In a perfect world, i'd love to be able to do that! But that's another story.

I agree with her on the altruistic approach but i defended my right to express myself the way i saw fit (in this case, the tattoos). Somewhere we made peace and now i can sport them without too much guilt.

I hope you're holidaying and enjoying whatever you are into. I'm sorry i've not communicated enough with you....you must be a few inches taller by now. I want you to know that no matter what happens between your mother and me and really, nothing bad should happen...just because we are apart does not mean we are not family.

Nobody wants to hurt anybody intentionally...sometimes people and particularly grown up people who live together have problems, its a natural fact of life. Sometimes you can work it out and at others, nothing helps.

Thus decisions are made that are hard to make and harder still to execute...we all wanna be happy and all of us have the right to pursue that dream of happiness, no matter how deranged some of those dreams might be.

I decided that i could not go on living in Holland doing things i wasn't happy with: So i made this decision that i had to get back to writing, work in a newspaper, a magazine et al. I told your mom about that and also the fact that we were no longer happy together... adults can be complicated...they have hang-ups that don't get cured or healed...

The only way forward then is to avoid being nasty toward each other and accept the pills no matter how bitter they taste.

It was one of the hardest things i've ever done. It meant i'd not get to see you for long periods. It meant we could not fool around in the park; go to the movies; the zoo or just monkey around the house.

I miss all of that. I miss seeing you grow. That is the price i paid. But we can make choices toward getting back together again and i believe we can work out an arrangement whereby you can be in Bhutan every year for your summer holidays. Of course it would be up to you too... but i do hope you will someday at least do one semester or more in a Bhutanese school.

And that's because I want you to know whatever you can about Bhutan. I want you to experience some things that are truly "Made in Bhutan." Like the physical beauty of the place ... mountains..hills..valleys .. plains .. cows .. yaks ... birds ... sheep ... takins ... languars ... ema datsi .. shakam ... clear mountain springs and rivers ... monasteries ... temples ... go on a road trip around the kingdom and see the unbelievable natural variety that surrounds this big-little country.

I imagine you'd love the stray dogs ... spring time swallows and turtle doves .... our king ... the way you can just get out of the house and play whenever and wherever you fancy without dearth of friends ... without appointments ... without time-frames...

Even as you go through this phase of not having me there physically..know that we'll always be father and son...know that i'm here... and i always will be.

And perhaps on one of those fine Thimphu evenings...many moons on....when you've grown into a young man...when the summer sun sets and there's a cool breeze in the air... we can talk about it all...over a pint, can or a bottle of beer... in Benez (You Loved the French Fries There).

Be Strong, Be Brave, Be Well and Always Keep the Faith....Love...Papa Jurmi

Growing Guises

These are photos from quite a lot of places: There you are as a little child when we'd go for a walk by the banks and beaches of Dakar in Senegal. The place was so hot that we'd begin the day by taking a dip in the Atlantic.

We lived close by the beach in the capital, Dakar. The first time we were there were these West African grasshoppers that looked like grasshoppers except that these were wooden-gray and they'd actually devour whole fields with the kind of numbers they used to swarm in.

We'd walk along the Atlantic and we'd try and spot as many creatures as we could. You loved spotting lizards when we were there. You loved finding crabs hiding beneath the rocky-beaches- underneath stones and boulders. Sometimes they'd be hiding under the sand (perhaps cooling off in that intense West African summer.

We'd have ice creams. You loved the beverages that are supposed to be bad for your teeth.

That reminds me: Brushing your teeth at night as you'd lay snug like a bug. Then we'd go through all your comics and books and i'd tell you tales. Some nights we'd run out of material. You'd then make me tell you stories about Memey Sherab's legendary exploits: From literally punching out a Bull one time Paro to running away from a Guar (South Asian Buffalo) and seeking refuge and safety in a tree. And Memey Sherab was as comfortable in the trees as he was in the forest.

He'd climb betel-nut trees in Phuentsholing when i was little boy. These trees grow really really tall and they flower and branch only up above...like a cocktail-umbrella. But he had technique. He climbed like a monkey.

One time he waited for the intruder that had been eating away all of Memey Sherab's chickens. He waits for the intruder inside the coop. Its dark. The intruder comes in...gingerly...smelling the tropical night air.

He slides inside the coop. Memey Sherab latches the door to the coop. The intruder is a jungle cat. Memey Sherab has an ax with him.

THUD!!!

The intruder is gone.

One time we drove to the Royal Manas National Park (it was designated a World Heritage Site for its incredible flora and fauna: From Indian Elephants and Rhinos to the Royal Bengal Tiger, this place accommodates a lot of endangered species).

It was one of Memey Sherab's last forays into the wild. He'd been in alpine forests and he'd been to tropical jungles. Memey Sherab was a radio man. He knew the Morse Codes. He'd go ahead and establish many radio-centers around the kingdom. It was basic communications and connectivity.

This was one of his last trips to Manas. I'd already come here on two occasions when i was a little boy like you. I loved it. The place was full of songs in the air, animals amidst the grasslands and a rich aquatic life in the Manas river.

Its where i first saw the Golden Languor and i can still feel the thrill now when i think about it.

As we drove in a Yunimoock, a wild boar came out of the bushes and raced ahead on the rough track ahead of us.

Peacocks invited us n with their beautiful plumes.

A Barking Deer said "Hello."

It was when i too fell in love with nature and all the animals in it.

SummerTime

Dear Mipham...How are you? The summer holidays must be on. Thimphu this summer is really hot. I don't recollect having to sweat it out the way i'm doing this summer! I've not checked on the degrees but it'll have to be higher than or above 25 degree Celsius.

I bet the summer there in Holland is a welcome respite after the dullness of winter and the briefness of autumn.

Thimphu this time of the year is usually warm but this time's its hot; like the heat in the southern districts of Bhutan (which lie at the foothills of the mountains and in the Indian plains).

The school season is on back again here after the rather short Bhutanese School Holidays. During summers, schools only shut down for about three weeks. Now the short Bhutanese School Holidays are over and everyone is going back to school. I see them as i drive to work, around town and where ever i go. Mornings and Late afternoons i see a lot of Bhutanese kids walking about. The girls wear what is known as a "kira" (something like the Japanese Kimono) and boys go in "ghos"- a sort of cross between a Japanese man's kimono and a Scottish kilt!).

Long holidays for Bhutanese students is normally during the winter months: Thus December, January and February til March are school holidays. They are known as the "Winter Holidays). The rationale was that winters in the upper regions like Thimphu and Paro in the west and some schools in the eastern and central parts would be to cold for the students.

This is a bit weird because in the southern districts there are a lot of school (for them its the summer heat that gets them but its good too because they get to holiday during the winters which are really nice and cool down south.)

I've been blogging a lot too. Politics, Travelogues, Reflections, Contemplations, Critiques and the like. In this blog i thought i'd write stuff concerning and of interest to you! Though that's a little presumptuous of me but i'm trying to write these "Father and Son Diaries."

Acho TJ looks plump.

Acho Tobden says he's gonna become a monk after he graduates class six.

Acho Palden was in Paro and he loves it there. He says he likes the peace (but now he's back in school).

Nochu Tensun is as cool as a cucumber.

Kitso really misses you and she's doing well in class (i think she'd make a lovely TV personality).

Ashey Gazome is now taller than me!

And they are all growing up an inch or two everyday!

Love..Jurmi

Moustache Pete

Hi Mipham,

This photo was taken sometime in September last year. It was in the orchard in Paro. September is also "Fall" or "Autumn." It is that time of the year when apples are ready for harvests: People pick the ripe apples, wrap them in papers (so that they stay fresh) and load them into crates (wooden boxes). They are then taken to places like Phuentsholing where buyers from countries such as India and Bangladesh come to buy the apples.

Angay Deki's orchard is not that big but neither is it small. The orchard gives her a yearly income of about 2 lacs (which is roughly about 3,500 Euros).

Prices go up and down depending on many things: somtimes the rains bring hailstorms (they are like little ice-cubes) and they break the apples. That is not good for the apples.

I posted this picture to show you the moustache i grew! I'd never done that before, well, not consciously at least! There were many factors that led me to grow a moustache: My Braun shaver burnt-out and i'm not a bag fan of razors!

It was fun anyways! I had the moustache for about four months (it took me three months to grow the size in the picture). Bhutanese people are genetically not too hairy. But the men do like to sport a "goatee" which is like the beard you see on goats, hence the name "goatee." Others sport slight moustaches; they'd love to have thick handle-bars like the south indians but well, yo'd have to be a south indian to sport moustches that big and thick!

There is a strange feeling having a moustache. I saw myself in a different light. I guess what it does it make you realise that you're a grown up adult/individual. That is a little scary because eveybody like to be free; no one like to be "responsible!"

But ts just a moustache. In the olden days, it was symbolic of a man's machoness. It is still popular among asians and south americans.

Some moustaches are so huge you can tie dumb-bells on them! There are people who pull trucks and lift heavy objects using their moustaches, beards, goatees et al.

Its a funny thing!

Ths is Lala

These are two dogs that ran into my office Mipham. The one on my right is Lala. He's a German Shephard Dog by breed and a real cool dog. He was born and bred in China. The Chinese ambassador had bro

ught him to Bangladesh . Yes. He belonged to an aristocratic Chinese family. Now when they were in Bngladesh they'd met with the Bhutanese ambassador to Bangladesh. He's now the Speaker of the National Assembly. When his time came to return back to Bhutan, the Chinese ambassador had gifted Lala to the Bhutanese ambassador. Lala was still a little pup then. Now he's become a handsome young dashing fella oll of three years old, which in dog years would be about the same age as you are right now. Funny, isn't it?
Now he's become a real Bhutanese dog. Eats everything, goes everywhere and does whatever he wants! Like barging into my office and forcing me to pose for a keepsake photo with him!

The other dog is one of those cute little pompous dogs. I don't know where he came from but supect it was Lala who lured him into the office. Lala's a real practical joker! Maybe you will see him when you come visit me next year.
I am so sorry i could not arrange it this time. I miss you bad mipham. Love. Papa

Names

This is Mipham. In Buddhism his name translates roughly to 'Indestructible'. His surname is 'Chhowing'. The english translation is something like 'In the Dharma'- together it amounts to 'Indestructible Dharma'.

I hope he'll forgive me for my presumptiousness! you see, names in the Himalayan Buddhist cultures are normally a sort of a blue print provided by the local lama, a big trulku, a rinpoche: they are hardly ever given by parents. Hence the different names among siblings in one family.

Though the times are changing and Bhutanese names these days are going stratospheric!

My own name has been of some bother: Jurmi is 'Unchanging' and maybe that explains why i never do! But as peculair as it is, the names we have do carry more than just an identity tag. I check out the names and the 'nick names' my mates carry and find the naming apt, evry apt.

'Dew' is a 'bullet'. Guys named Dews behave like one.

'Tew' is wild, untamed entertainment.

'Job' is a redneck. I've Job-mates and they are scandalious!

'Dirty Punk' speaks for itself.

'Supe' is headless. So are we! We dunno where that came about (although there are embarrasing legends behind it; something to do with the toes!

'Harry' got stuck with Harry. Now its a sensitive issue when that oft.bespoken phrase, Tom, Dick and..... comes about. I actually called him 'Burns' back in college. He had Kurt Cobain sideburns and they looked oddly-similar. Sadly it didn't stick.

'Jigs' is very much the 'Cat'. He's now become 'Bull Dog'.

'Ganza' amounts to a big nose.

'Tosh' is tosh.

'Jaado' is mysterious.

'Kaado' is white-skinned,

'Naado' is black.

'Zabey Thow' is literally 'Worn-Out-Hammer'!

'Chor Malik' is an Indian pointer. This is the original 'Slumdog Millionaire'!

'Muk Bangey' is 'Crooked Mouth'.

'Popzey' is a 'Show off'!

'Sambo' is for Samdrup. Its the Bhutanese take on 'Rambo'!

'Tsagey' is a retard.

'Chenrazey' is a lecher.

'Jendrix' is the Bhutanese 'Jimi Hendrix'.

'Labbar' is the 'Big D'.

'Phantom' is the dazed doper.

'Bhuey Tarzan' is Tarzan minus the swing.

'Godfather' in Bhutan is the Drug-Pusher-in-Chief.

'Godmother' is his wife.

'Dhaab' is opium-based-cough-syrups.

'Maal' is marijuana.

Gotti is not the American-Italian mobster. Its pharmaceutical pills.

to be continued............

The Indigo Kid

I was at Om Bar last night with a friend (i'll tell you about her; yes she is a girl and she is American). We went out as i'd wanted her to see some of the Thimphu nightlife. When you're from the sunny beaches and mountainous state of California studying in windy Chicago you'd be interested in seeing how the Bhutanese party.

We ran into Bones. This was much later but i'll get back to the beginning. We ran into Bones and introductions done, we talked about sweet-nothings. Then we talked tattoos. Liat (that's her name) said she'd go for (considering she really did want a tattoo) an apparatus that measures or could measure neutrons (i'm lost here! but it was something like that). I had this mental picture of a microscope like the ones you see scientists using). She said it resembled a tear-drop! (Its actually the Millikan-Oil-Drop-Experiment; she corrects me later on with this Wikipedia: (In 1909, Robert Millikan and Harvey Fletcherperformed the oil-drop experiment to measure theelementary electric charge (the charge of theelectron). (The experiment entailed balancing the downward gravitationalforce with the upward buoyantand electric forces on tiny charged droplets of oilsuspended between two metal electrodes.)

All i can say is "wow!" That, i tell her, is gonna be one helluva tattoo!

Bones wanted a Buddha. That was simpler. But Liat's mention of that particular tattoo speaks volumes for the kind of person she is. Her last name is Bird. In one introduction i'd said that the legendary Celtic Larry Bird was her uncle. She dismissed it right away; said they just shared common last names. I had my Tiger number five or six probably and she still wouldn't go for one beer.

She is 20 years old. The way she looks and the way she is, you'd be forgiven for treating her like a child at first and finding out how old her soul really is. I'd heard about "Old Souls." They are supposed to be like the "Indigo Children" who are supposed to be all "Old Souls." I did read about it. Its said that the "Indigo Children" know and sense things way before their time. That they know instinctively what's right and what's wrong. Liat reminds me of an "Indigo Child" and what they can become or represent: wisdom and pragmatism.

She drinks a lot of water. That's healthy to say the least. She's grounded. That's solid rooted-ness to say the least. She eats without fuss. That's convenience to say the least. She's comfortable where ever she is. That's assuring to say the least. She listens to bands and singers that've been dead long before she was born. That's cool to say the least. If you told her that there's probably a box full of jewels at the end of the rainbow she'd probably tell you to go get it.

If you told her you didn't believe in angels she'd probably ask you why the heck not? I'm convinced these "Indigo-Kids" are gonna treat the world proper and practical. Topping the list of endless surprises, she tells you she don't drink coffee. The beauty is this: she tells you all of these without the faintest hint of apology. There's such natural confidence about her that you really don't feel bad.

I say, "Your parents' done great; your brothers' done great" and she says, "They must have!"

She's interning with the Health Ministry here in Thimphu. One day she'll go to medical college. Someday she'll be a doctor sitting besides a patient bringing healing and acceptance; laughter and life, for wherever she is, she brings unbridled joy. Now that is priceless.

Ps: She does not smoke either.